Balance….what the f is it??

What is this balance everyone is talking about?

I’m supposed to find it?

Find balance?

Where? Where do I find it?

Am I looking in all the wrong places or am I looking wrong?

Or is it not something I find by looking for it, do I just turn around and one day “ah ha! I found you!”?

What the hell does it even feel like or look like? Or sound like or taste like for that matter?

How do I know if/when I’ve found it?

Has anyone actually found it???

I feel like I’ve spend most of my life on an endless quest to discover this elusive balance everyone is talking about.

Balance of being emotional and sucking it up….

Balance of friendship and individuality….

Balance of towing the line and questioning everything….

Balance of mum and whatever parts of me are not mum….

Balance of patience and taking the bull by the horns….

Balance of nourishing my body with healthy food and making myself sick with treats….

Balance of rest and pushing myself….

Balance of comfort zone and exploring outside the box….

Balance of going with the flow and swimming against the current….

Balance of fitting in and standing out like a sore thumb….

Balance of splashing the cash and saving for a rainy day….

Balance of dutiful daughter and independent grown ass woman….

Balance of shouting from the rooftops and keeping my mouth shut….

Balance of their needs and mine….

I don’t know…..

I think I’m about ready to call bullshit on the whole freaking show.

I think I’ve been played for a fool. I think we all have! I think I’ve been beating my head against a brick wall for years trying to find balance (and never seeming to get to it!) for nothing!

I think it’s all total and utter bullshit

Get ready, because I’m about to blow your mind!

There’s no such thing as balance.

There, I said it….

There’s no such thing as having the right amount of this compared to that.

People, there’s nothing there to find, because it doesn’t exist!

There is always a pull in one direction, there is always something/someone that needs something more than something/someone else. There’s never going to be a perfect moment in my life where the stars all align and I’ll be able to say, ”Eureka! I’ve bloody found it! Balance! Here it is! It’s right here! I’ve bloody found it at long last! Hurrah!”

So what the hell are we all striving for balance for? What the hell is it we all think balance is?

I don’t even know why I think I need to find this thing that I don’t even know is the thing I’m trying to find….

Hang on. Deep breath….

I don’t need balance! Nobody needs balance! It’s not some magical thing that’s going to help us make sense of the chaos and randomness of our lives! Because what is life without the chaos and randomness anyway??

So, balance….

Well, I’m a single mum.

I’m a single mum of two teenage girls.

I am a single mum of two teenage girls, and one has dyslexia and other stuff going on, and the other one has a rare genetic disorder and a whole bunch of diagnoses that come with it.

I am a single mum of two teenage girls, and one has dyslexia and other stuff going on, and the other one has a rare genetic disorder and a whole bunch of diagnoses that come with it, and they are both homeschooled.

I am a single mum of two teenage girls, and one has dyslexia and other stuff going on, and the other one has a rare genetic disorder and a whole bunch of diagnoses that come with it, and they are both homeschooled, and I’m trying to start my own business a medical intuitive.

So, balance….???

I reckon I’d have more luck trying to find a rainbow unicorn with golden hair who shits gluten, dairy and sugar free cupcakes.